Saturday Trip to Target

No big deal- few things to pick up at Target. Karlee napping, so I decide to take Brandon. First mistake.. going to Target on a Saturday mid morning. Second mistake.. thinking that taking Brandon alone would be just fine. We discussed behavior the entire ride there... "I promise to be a good boy..."
We arrive.. had to get popcorn and icee (thought that it would entertain him during the trip). Icee machine broken..... the first tear breaks. A diet coke will do. Tears disappear. 5 minutes into trip- popcorn spills. Clean it up and go on. 10 minutes later- popcorn spills. My voice gets a little louder. Then lid comes off diet coke.... cup dumps over. "Mommy, I didn't mean to, it just fell ober" Ok, starting to get a little distraught, but I can handle this. Piling my purchases into buggy (trying not to put them in the big part of the cart to entice curious hands). I then hear this strange noise of something scattering all over the floor... it was the cup of Easy Mac, opened and spilled. Voice REALLY loud now. Ready to go. Get to register.. Brandon had to help. Items go flying in the counter mixed in with someone else's... along with a candy bar and sucker from the kid reachable parent-hated candy shelf. Put those back. tears and yelling start.... "I want some candy"..... Popcorn spills again, clean that up. ahhhh! Check out (with hopes that I only paid for my stuff). Get in car and drive down the parking lot to Publix to pick up a few groceries. The "I wants" start all over. My voice is REALLY REALLY loud. Half way through the store I realize that I forgot a birthday present at Target (my original reason for making the trip). Find a display of gift cards- perfect.. Toys R Us to the rescue. Get to checkout. 2 packs of gum make it through the scanner. As I am trying to grab hold of the wrist and hang on with one hand, I open wallet with other to pay... no debit card. The machine at Target ate it... So I get out the backup checkbook. Cashier informs me that I can't pay for the gift card with a check. No cash. No gift card. So much for that idea. Gotta head back to Target anyway. Get Brandon off the floor and head out the door. Back at Target.. customer service. Wait 25 minutes for a manager to bring card. Brandon is running through the customer service doors and jumping from table to table in the cafe. I take deep breath and hold back.... get card and have to go stand in line to sign some log that I got it back... another 10 minutes. Face it hot and I am ready to explode. Wander to back of store to pick out an outfit. No buggy this time- in a hurry. Look down and I see flip flops but no Brandon. Call his name, he eventually appears with smirk. Grab hold of the arm and drag to checkout. Fingers begin grabbing candy.. hand gets a good poppin. Meltdown starts. Pay and get debit card. Ready to go.. No Brandon. I stand in front of registers and calmly wait for him to make appearance. Wait.. wait.... begin walking up and down... No Brandon. Start calling.... no answer. Panic sets in. Manager sees me looking... the search continues. I am in full panic mode calling his name very loudly. I am sure everyone in Target has heard the name "Brandon" by now. And ready for this out of control kid and mom to GET OUT! I walk to front doors and low and behold.. there he is standing outside in the front entrance people watching with a cute little smile on his face. And I am sure everyone just smiled and waved back. Not so cute to me.... fill in blank to next part of story.
Get home.. everyone snoozing. Begin putting groceries away. As I am carrying the cans of soda into fridge, one drops, hits my big toe and then the floor. Explosion. Root Beer spewing out everywhere.. inside everything in the fridge, the blinds, the floors, the ceiling, my eyes, hair, clothing, cabinets...... and I just stood there. Frozen. I officially called it quits for the day.... i was DUNZO!
Anyone wanna take a trip to Target with me? It'll be fun.... We can even get an Icee and Popcorn!!